Cooking Class Guatemalan Style

A few weeks ago I began taking a cooking class at a place in Xela called Intecap (Instituto Técnico de Capacitación y Productividad). It’s basically adult ed meets community college meets vocational high school. They offer certificate programs in a variety of areas including mechanics, culinary arts, and welding. However, they also offer non-certificate courses for the average person with a passing interest in these topics. When Eloisa told me that she’d signed up for both International Cuisine and Mediterranean Cooking, I said, “sign me up!” What better way to improve my Spanish than while learning a few new tricks in the kitchen and getting to spend more time with Eloisa. And the class only cost Q100 for 8 4-hour sessions! I left the rest of the world to Eloisa and chose to focus on the Mediterranean.

Alas, I feel a bit duped.

To begin with, the class may have only cost Q100, but the students have to provide every last ingredient and cooking implement. So each week, we have a recipe, divide up the ingredients, head to the market and end up spending anywhere between Q25 and Q75 extra. If we’re lucky, our cooking group partners (we’re 5 to a group) remember to bring pots, pans, soap, sponges, towels etc. Sometimes they forget and have to run out and get them at Hiper Pais, which is conveniently located next door but not so conveniently owned by Walmart and incredibly expensive. Essentially, Intecap provides a room with industrial kitchen floors, a six-burner stove and a convection oven that usually works. You could also say, they provide instruction, but this is really a stretch given that the teacher is usually not in the room (I have no idea where she goes during this time. It is impossible to find her even when there are literally baking dishes exploding in the oven).

So the disorganization and lack of instruction aside, you might think that it’s all worthwhile because I’m getting to learn to cook some yummy new things. Prepare yourself, I’m about to be food snobby and I know this and I apologize, but here it comes…

The recipes are terrible! They’re not actually Mediterranean food. Ok, I should rephrase that. They’re Mediterranean food with a Guatemalan touch. For example the pesto we made on night two…it had crema in it! Now, last time I spoke with an Italian (yesterday. Eloisa’s husband is from Italy) he confirmed that pesto is not made with crema. He also confirmed that calzones are not made with cottage cheese. Gross. I could understand if mozzarella weren’t widely available here, but it is, and so is parmesan.

We’re making something paella-like this week, and I’m trying to be a bit excited. But last week Eloisa and I played hooky and made brownies in my apartment and it was so much more fun….